In case you’re wondering, I don’t have it all together on the inside or, most definitely, the out. And as I am approaching the Big 5-0, it got me wondering if this is how I really expected my life to turn out.

In approximately the amount of time it takes to swallow a mouthful of Whispering Angel at the Wine Palace, the answer is NO.

I didn’t really plan my life, it just happened. And on top of that, treating my body as a temple never really crossed my mind because I think, like most people, we don’t understand ageing before it hits us. Then it’s a bit too late, or is it?

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Last Sunday, in a desperate attempt to reverse my biological clock, I decided to walk along the sentier littoral from Roquebrune Cap Martin to Menton. It seemed I wasn’t the only one with this idea.

Anyway, as I kicked up the pace a little I could hear a broken record spinning inside my head: “I hate running, I hate running.” Is it just me or does anyone really like to run? Is it even healthy?

Sure, we are subjected to photos of overly-toned bodies at the gym on Instagram and Facebook, with sexy women wearing their best flesh-baring workout outfits, flaunting beautiful hair and full make up, all looking much younger than me. Jealous? You know, maybe a tiny bit.

When we are in our 30s we say we’re 29, and when we hit 40 we claim we’re 39. And now, as I am approaching 50, I am going in the opposite direction: I’ll tell anyone who wants to listen that I’m at least ten years older to solicit a compliment to feed my ego.

Yes, yes, we need to stay healthy in order to live a longer and happier life, but why can we not look our age? The answer is because no other woman looks her age.

I refuse to be the only one in Monaco looking like a raisin with a sagging bottom and loose skin everywhere, so brace yourself: in addition to forcing myself to run, do yoga, stick to pilates, try juicing, and follow a vegan diet, I’m heading for the dermatologist in Beausoleil for some botox and fillers. See you on the other side of 50.

Renate Mjelde has spent the last 20 years between Monaco, the South of France, NY and London, living through her love of literature, art, philosophy and brand building – and, of , course, her 4 kids and cocker spaniel. Article first published May 2, 2018.

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